


One hundred and one ways to name a penis...

by millygal



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 17:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10644849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: Sam's the master of pub games.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Probably the stupidest thing ever written...go figure,lol. All dialogue :)

"Ge...the Guv and Sam sittin' in a tree F.U.C.K.I..."

"Finish that rhyme and you'll be kissin' carpet Carling"

"What if I finish it?"

"You'll be on traffic duty for a month, that's what, Skelton"

"Aww come on boss, I was just messin'"

"Not nice is it, when people mess with you back, now get your head in the game"

"Admiral winky"

"Oi, that was my go"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Gene, you'll get your turn"

"Hurumph"

"Fine, fine, let the Guv 'ave my go"

"Stupidest damn game I've ever played"

"Don't care, either you come up with a decent one or you lose another sock"

"I'm runnin' outta socks, Tyler"

"That's the idea, Hunt"

"Ankle spanker"

"Ok, nasty"

"You said..."

"I know, I know"

"Ray, s'your turn in't it?"

"Cheers Chris, remind me to give you a slap later"

"Stop smirkin' at Ray, DC Skelton or you'll be on traffic duty for two months. I do not need to know what you two deviant bastards get up to in ya time off"

"Come on Ray, anti up"

"Uh, shit, urm..."

"Ha...come on, hand it over"

"Owww, Ray's got pink knickers on"

"I left a red sock in the wash by mistake, shut up!"

"Yea yea, we all know the real reason. You marchin' any time soon?"

"Wh..Oi you cheeky.."

"Yes DS Carling?"

"Nothin'"

"Come on, stop yapping and hand over the trousers"

"It's bloody freezin' in 'ere"

"Ask Nelson to turn the heat up or stop losing. Simple"

"Stop bein' a smug git an' get on with it"

"Crotch rocket"

"That was pathetic, Gladys"

Yea, you come up with one then"

"Ur...It's Chris's go, not mine"

"Bugger, bow legged swamp donkey"

"And the award for most disgusting use of donkey in a sentence goes to..."

"Come on Guv, s'your turn and 'urry it up 'cos my knackers are goin' blue"

"'ow come every fucker here's wearin' more clothes than me?"

"'Cos you're shit at this game.."

"S'dumb game"

"Stop throwin' ya toys outta the pram Guv. I'm the one flashin' me unmentionables"

"Pink unmentionables"

"I am gonna belt you, Chris"

"Hey, I've got me nipples on show"

"Yea, when are you gonna hit pubity?"

"Funny"

"We all thought so"

"Come on Gene, your turn"

"Fine, fuckin' bastard arsehole shitbag gits"

"That's a loss unless you can come up with something"

"Dora the anal explorer"

"Oh.."

"My.."

"God.."

"What!"

"You're the most disgusting...never mind"

"Your turn Ray..."

"I'm sure it were jus' me.."

"Nah, you just think it was 'cos your left arse cheek's gone numb"

"Seriously Chris, a slap your mother'll feel if you don't shu'up"

"Sorry"

"You don't look sorry"

"Shhh boss"

"How comes the Guv's lost about 5 times yet he's still got his trousers on?"

"He's old. He layers up"

"I'll put you on the desk with Phyllis for a week..."

"Ok, ok, he's not that old, still layers up though"

"I've only got me bloody trousers left Ray, stop bitchin'"

"*Snerk*"

"You can shut up an' all ya pigeon chested tosser"

"Boys, play nice"

"Still your turn Raymondo"

"Everlasting gob-dropper"

"Now we know what Christopher gets up to on his days off..."

"Guv, anyone ever tell you you're a laugh riot?"

"Once or twice"

"I've lost count, who's go is it"

"Tyler!"

"Boss!"

"Gladys"

"That'd be me then"

"Get on with it, 'bout time you lost some of them poncy clothes"

"Poncy, you're the one who was wearing two vests, don't think I can't see the tops of those thermals above your trousers and you're calling my clothes poncy"

"Jus' get on would ya"

"I..Uh, oh fuck it"

"Ha, get 'em off"

"But, I'm not wearin' any.."

"Should 'ave thought of that before startin' this. Now get 'em off"

"Fine...but don't say I didn't warn y..."

"Sam!"

"Oh shit"

"Alright luv"

"'lo Annie"

"Hows it 'angin' Cartwright"

"Apparently, better than his is"

"I like her"

"I could learn to love her"

"Bunch of bastards"

  



End file.
